Hey Beauties, I did a decade in review. I scoured my icloud photos. I remembered everywhere I’ve been. 4 states & many beings (myself & others). Looking at the FULL decade you can really see the twists and turns. You can see the self-imposed boobytraps & lucky fortunes too. In hindsight you can see exactly what worked and what didn’t. Here’s my takeaways … Next decade I’m leaving behind:
1. Not listening to my intuition in REAL time. I concluded the majority of my pain was caused by OVERSTAYING… Last decade I overstayed. I let pain overstay. I let confusion overystay. I let desire overstay. However, this hindsight revealed that my intuition was always pointing the best path very early on. I questioned my inner knowing, I tried to work around it, I outright ignored it. I even tried “to fix” my intuition… LOL.
My promise to myself in 2020… I am going follow the nudge much sooner and I’m going to make decisions with ease & faith that my intuition knows the way. I am going to welcome change from an intuitive space (ohh, I just heard this years mantra).
I welcome change from an intuitive space
2. I’m leaving behind the story, “I’m inherently bad, therefore I’m rejected.” You have a story, an experiential logic that frames your life. It’s not this one. However, this was the “story” I saw myself repeating every year or so. I’ll spare you the details and give you the one-liner: Growing up in the suburbs of SLC as a non-mormon (in the formative neuron-making years of ages 1-7), I often felt outcasted, left behind, rejected from the group (it’s a feeling that I’m inherently bad and unworthy). It’s played out in a variety of funny, ironic ways. In a state of meditation, I saw myself trying to resolve the Karma of this loop. I saw that it was also a past-life loop. A religious exile (weird mambo-jambo) inside myself. In a magical state of awareness, I knew that THIS PATTERN is not coming into the next decade with me.
My promise to myself in 2020… When I feel the pattern, the loop, the energy of being rejected by the tribe. I’m going to pause and accept myself as good and worthy and then I’m going to break the Karma and STAY in my tribe (especially if I love the tribe). Because, truly, my pattern is to runaway and outcast myself. To not express myself or my needs. To leave the village but go on alone (hurt and disappointed). I am going to stay in the community using the energy of forgiveness (for myself & others). Looking at the last decade I realized I have left so many people behind who I truly loved, because I felt that I had failed to meet their expectations. That Karma stops today.
3. I’m leaving behind Pedestal-ing People. The final sacrifice for me this decade will be all those I’ve revered on a pedestal. This one is hard for me. I’m a huge admirer. This poet loves to MUSE. I love astonishment. I love Beauty. I love Magic. However, placing anyone on a pedestal will only result in disappointment & heartbreak. Not to mention, when you do this, you offer that person the power to hurt you in ways that are unimaginable (& often times they don’t even know they have this power or want this power over you). It’s simply power you grant them. So, from now on, when I want to place someone above me, I am going to remember my decade of pedestals, and I’m going to choose to see their awe & majesty as a reflection of my own. Cuz, #IAMYOU, also, when you turn the hierarchy into a synarchy then you actually relate. It’s fun to truly relate, it’s intimacy and it’s connection.
My promise to myself in 2020… The desire to put someone on a pedestal will now signal to me something about my own powers and soul. Next I will pinpoint what I am admiring and begin to cultivate that essence in my own being. If the past has taught me anything, I will also open my heart, just a little bit more to that magical being because, I’ve definitely learned it’s a signal they’ve got a soul-secret to deliver.
I hope this reflection has been of service to some of you, my pōm-ing earthlings. Is it weird to be proud of the last decade? Woah, it’s like i’m not the same human! I feel ready for my new set of teachers.
Ps. Decade in review revealed that my #1 Skill I Mastered was Healthy Emotional Processing. This has been so beneficial for me, I wanted to teach a pop-up workshop on Wednesday Jan. 8th at 5pm Eastern/3pm Mountain/2 pm Pacific. I’m looking for interest from about 10ish people. The cost will be $33 dollars. This training is part of the corporate mindfulness program I teach. It’s one of the favorite lessons. The workshop will last 90-mins. You’ll receive the recording if you can’t make it live. Learning how to process your emotions in a healthy way is truly the skill set for a flowing, happy life. Once I mastered this skill last decade truly changed. Every part of my body, ease, and wellbeing flowered.
Send me a message if you’d like to join the pop-up workshop: How To Process Your Emotions in a Healthy, Beneficial Way. THIS IS GOLD INFO. $33. Hello@emilymotzkus.com, I’ll respond to your questions within 24 hours. Some are confused that I offer workshops by having you personally email me, but it’s the human way <3 don’t be afraid. Much light my friends.
With love and pristine vision in the new decade, xxx